Parent wanting out of unit membership

There is a divorced member in our ward who's ex wants to have out of unit membership. They use the family circumstance part of the Handbook to try and get it. Everything I read about is about the out of unit membership is for the children to have so they can be included in both wards. Am I reading g this incorrectly? Any help is greatly appreciated.

Looking over 33.6.13, I agree with your assessment. The out-of-unit record is for the children who bounce between the wards.

I'm not sure what the ex is expecting. Even if he was added, it wouldn't show him as the parent of the children unless has was added to their household. Children can't be part of two households in the same ward. But if he's added to their household, they'd look like they're married. If he's not attending your ward, I don't see the point.

Perhaps he wants to be able to have access to the leaders of his children, or to see the calendar of activities, but this isn't giving me a warm fuzzy.

It is that they want to have access to children leaders and the ward at large. Thank.ypu for your response.

I assume they are out-of-stake? Otherwise they could see the organization leaders for their children, as well as all adults in the ward.

If the desire is to ensure the ex-spouse is included in their children's church participation, then most times leaders will be willing and able to account for that regardless of where the records are. This issue is common even when the ex-spouse is physically in the same ward, since some things are based on the children's household -- in which case the children/youth leaders should make the effort to ensure they include both parents in all outreach. If the ex-spouse speaks with the home-ward bishop, hopefully that will align everyone.

Granted, not all situations are straightforward, and sometimes divorced parents have conflicting ideas or goals about how to manage their children's church participation. Again, having them speak with the bishop can hopefully identify ways to respect parents wishes and also align with church policy.

Seems like a perfectly reasonable request. Even as a member of a ward and the father of my children it is often very hard to get information about them. I'm sorry, but relying in the ward to just nicely include you isn't going to cut it every time. And here's what I mean.

I am the father of all girls, I have no sons - this means, culturally, that nobody communicates with me about anything related to my daughters. I have dealt with this in 4 different wards and it was always the same. I'd ask to be included on announcement texts/emails, etc.. and I'd get them for a few weeks/months, but inevitably the 'list' is created again by someone, or my daughters move classes and I have to go through it all over again. I was constantly dropped from communication even though I had 4 girls, I'd explicitly asked the YW Presidency, asked advisers, etc...

There is no reason that a father can't be included in that kind of communication, One never knows... Imagine of the issue is that the mom doesn't want it because she's using the issue of him not getting their kids to church events against him in the divorce (as easily a possibility as the father having some kind of ulterior motive).

Now, I don't understand the dynamics of that family and it doesn't sound like the person withe the question does either, so I'd error on the side of just being good citizens to parents and add them. That, or have the Bishop get all up in the family business, invite them in to a meeting together and figure out what the issue is.

Never underestimate how bad our church members communicate with each other, especially leaders - it is the absolute worst thing we do in my observation. Sure if you're on the Ward Council, if you're on the Stake Council, other than that it's hit or miss about which leader decides to communicate to which members which way and in what amount of lead-time. Of course if we just used all the online tools the church has provided, there would be very little need for anything else, but every org, every class in the church chooses it's own way to send information to parents, youth, and general members, it is the largest mess I've ever seen organizationally.

BrianEdwards wrote: Thu May 15, 2025 8:43 am I assume they are out-of-stake? Otherwise they could see the organization leaders for their children, as well as all adults in the ward.

That depends on their privacy settings. Their contact information may not be available to anyone outside of the ward.

Then again, depending on the settings, it may not be available to ward members. So, I'm not sure as being added as a out-of-unit member would be the solution he thinks it would be.