Sealing Cancelations

I was recently divorced and I am now thinking about remarrying someone in particular. I was wondering if there were any success stories on couples who were able to receive a cancelation in time to be sealed to their new spouse instead of going the route of a civil marriage first and a sealing later. It is really important for me to do it in this order. My ex husband left me and I had no part in wanting the divorce. If you have any other knowledge of the process I would really be pleased to hear it!

This is best discussed with your bishop. There may be information in Handbook 1, Stake Presidents and Bishops, [2010] as well as personal information that he may need to discuss with you.

It all depends on your timing. I know a man who was married in the temple then was divorced a few years later. When he decided to marry again in the temple the engagement was about four-and-a-half months (and some of that time was spent obtaining the proper clearance from the First Presidency). I don't know if that's typical timing but it doesn't seem like an unreasonable wait to me. (It's just that, at first, they couldn't tell anyone their specific wedding date because they were waiting for the approval. Otherwise it seemed like a very typical engagement.) He did not have to have a civil marriage first with a sealing later. And, yes, he worked closely with his Bishop since before the divorce.

As stated, the Bishop is the one who can "get the ball rolling" on the necessary clearance so make your appointment right away.

There are several forms to fill out, that your bishop must start, and the Stake Pres will endorse and mail to SLC. Also, the bishop will need a letter from your ex asking his/hers feelings about the sealing cancelation. This may take some time getting this all together. (don’t fret of your ex writing negative things about you, I’ve never seen it affect the cancelation).
The actual time for the FP to approve can be just a few weeks. It use to take a long time, and people would get tired of waiting and just get married civilly. Things are much faster now if all the paper work is done properly. As bishop I once called the FP office about a cancelation, and where it was in the process, and the nice lady said she would see if she could hurry it along. I called back a few days later and she said it was approved and in the mail!

My ex has been after me to get a cancellation. Finally I gave my report to my bishop and my ex did the same. My ex divorced me almost 13 years ago to marry someone else. His new wife is not a member. I have asked my bishop several times about hearing back and all he says is that it takes a long time. I know it has been close to a year. Does it take years??

nunzi47 wrote:My ex has been after me to get a cancellation.

The decision for you to request a cancellation of your sealing is yours alone, and does not belong to your former spouse. There are certain blessings related to your sealing that continue for you even if the marriage does not last.

If you do request a cancellation, your former spouse is asked to supply a letter regarding his feelings, and it appears that this has taken place. What is unusual is that a request to cancel a sealing normally is not submitted until you are ready to be sealed to another worthy member in the temple.

Your bishop or stake president are in the best position to explain these things to you, and there are exceptions to what I have said. As for the timing of the process, there was a time when it took over two years to receive First Presidency approval. Today it sometimes happens within several months, unless there is an unusual aspect to the request, in which case a longer time is not unusual.

Your interviews with your bishop and stake president should have included discussions about these matters.

This is all beyond the scope of this forum. Only your priesthood leaders will be able to help you with these questions.

We can actually help you with the main question. NO, it should not take this long. Once all the paperwork is filled out and all parties have been contacted and allowed input, it is submitted to the 1st Presidency who consider it at their next meeting which will NOT be more than 2 weeks, unless it's in July when they are on Vacation.

The bishop should be able to walk you through the FORM, where they are in the process and what is the next step they are waiting on (it sounds like the Bishop has submitted it to the stake at this point). 1 Year is not acceptable and it means something has gotten dropped along the way. But whatever the cause, find out where it's stuck and get a meeting setup with either the Bishop or the SP to address it specifically. You might be served well by talking to someone in your ward that may have been through the same thing if you need someone to back you up when talking to those individuals.

lajackson wrote:What is unusual is that a request to cancel a sealing normally is not submitted until you are ready to be sealed to another worthy member in the temple.

^ This.

Typicaly that's only done when the woman finds another worthy member - not the man.

This may be why it's taking so long.

I've got a question on this subject as well. After being divorced for 10 years I met a wonderful women who had also been divorced for 10 years. We both clearly got answers that we were each other's answers to prayers. I would not cancel my sealing but did receive a temple clearance to be sealed to my new fiancé who had requested and received a cancellation of her sealing after we were engaged. She said her bishop told her she could only receive permission from the first presidency one time to be sealed to someone else, which she received. Both of us held major callings in our respective wards, and because of such as well as our length of time being divorced, being worthy and certainly old enough to suggest we were not subject to youthful lack of wisdom, I suspect our requests were honored quickly in 6 weeks.

A few days after receiving her approval of the sealing cancellation and permission to be sealed to me, and my letter arriving with the approval to be specifically sealed to her, she changed her mind based on some relatively minor isssues. She had made such a big deal about waiting until the spirit confirmed I was qualified so that she was not left not being sealed to anyone, I feel terrible for her.

Is she able to receive permission again if she finds someone and is this a case by case basis looked at by the first presidency? Although I am surely dissapointed, I feel great concern and empathy for her and wondering where this leaves her? Thanks for any insights.

danbartonsherwood wrote:She said her bishop told her she could only receive permission from the first presidency one time to be sealed to someone else,

I see nothing like that in Handbook 1. I'm not sure where it's coming from.

Yes, there is nothing like 'only one time' in any documentation and handbooks out there.

The only "one" I see is that a living woman can only be sealed to one man (at a time).

danbartonsherwood wrote:Is she able to receive permission again . . .

Yes. Technically, her previous sealing was canceled. In the future, she may be sealed to someone else if all other requirements are met.

What if the man and women were sealed, but are now divorced more than 14 years ago. Neither are married at this time. He talks to his ex-wife because he has found someone he would like to be sealed in the temple now; both are temple worthy.

At first, the former spouse was upset and said she would not share being sealed to the same man who wants to be sealed with another. Initially, she sounded willing to cancel their sealing, now out of anger states she is making ugly accusations from the past, says she will talk to her Bishop (even though she doesn't know who he is) and is not willing to write a letter to request a cancellation.

For the man, his bishop asked him to fill out the LDS form which will to go to the First Presidency, what is this form for? A cancellation of sealing or just permission to be sealed to another despite the first sealing? Can a cancellation of sealing be given to a man if the living ex-wife is no longer active and refuses to release him? Does a woman need to give her permission to her former sealed ex-spouse to be sealed to another woman who is temple worthy? Can a man be sealed again to another, despite being sealed to another even though she is still living but not active in the church?

Has anyone had a cancellation of sealing without her permission? Or just permission to be sealed to number 2???

dshinsato wrote:For the man, his bishop asked him to fill out the LDS form which will to go to the First Presidency, what is this form for? A cancellation of sealing or just permission to be sealed to another despite the first sealing?

It's for permission from the First Presidency for the second sealing.

In looking at the directive in the Handbook (1: 3.6.1), it appears that permission from the first wife is not necessary, but that the First Presidency does want her input.

What type of input do they want from an ex-wife? What if she is very negative and makes allegations which are not true? What if she does not respond does that stop t
he process of the second sealing? Or can this cause a delay in the process?

We don't know. We're not told.

donaramirez1 wrote:What type of input do they want from an ex-wife? What if she is very negative and makes allegations which are not true? What if she does not respond does that stop the process of the second sealing? Or can this cause a delay in the process?

Some things may have changed, but based on my experience in a calling where I dealt with these issues, this is what I saw.

The letter from the former wife is intended for her to be able to share her feelings about the request with the Prophet. I recall that there are some specifics in the Application instructions, but I do not remember that they were much more than that.

The tone of her letter reflects mostly on her. Remember that the brother also has written a letter that includes the circumstances of the divorce. In my experience, it was rare for the sister to bring up anything that the brother had not already mentioned.

If she does not respond, the bishop explains in his letter that she was given the opportunity to write and did not. Her failure to write does not stop the process and almost never causes any delay other than to make certain she had the chance to provide her feelings about the request.

On very rare occasions, the stake president will be contacted and asked for additional information. But if the instructions on the Application to the First Presidency form have been followed, this almost never happens.

The First Presidency is well aware of the issues regarding the breakup of a marriage and the attempts to put lives and families back in order. The Application to the First Presidency, along with the letters required as a part of it, provide them the information they need to take these decisions to the Lord and obtain answers that will bless the lives of individual members and allow them to put their lives on track once again.

I only speak for myself based on my personal experiences in helping members go through this process. Following the instructions of the First Presidency on the Application and the process outlined in Handbook 1 are the most important keys to this difficult process.

What if a women wants to have a sealing cancellation due to remarriage but is marrying a non member?

claudiagreenmun wrote:What if a women wants to have a sealing cancellation due to remarriage but is marrying a non member?

As far as I can tell, it's not required to have the sealing canceled.

Keep in mind that canceling the sealing cancels the blessings that goes with it. That's why women usually don't get a sealing cancellation until they're ready to be sealed to someone else.

My fiance is sealed to her ex husband, they divorced 15 years ago due to his abusive nature. He passed away 3 years ago. Do we still need to get the sealing cancelled and how long does it take?

jordankelly wrote:My fiance is sealed to her ex husband, they divorced 15 years ago due to his abusive nature. He passed away 3 years ago. Do we still need to get the sealing cancelled and how long does it take?

She should meet with her bishop to find out what needs to be done.

jordankelly wrote:My fiance is sealed to her ex husband, ... Do we still need to get the sealing cancelled?

Yes.

I am sealed to my husband and he has since passed away. I’d like to get married again and sealed to this new gentleman but I do not want to cancel my sealing to my deceased spouse. Can I do that?

karina2119 wrote:I am sealed to my husband and he has since passed away. I’d like to get married again and sealed to this new gentleman but I do not want to cancel my sealing to my deceased spouse. Can I do that?

You should visit with your bishop.

My Fiancee was sealed to her spouse and teenage children in 2016. Husband left her not long after sealing (yes, she was devastated), then divorced her, and is remarried outside the Church. Her Bishop has received the response from her Ex and everything for her cancellation request looks favorable.

My history is more complex. Sealed to first wife and her 4-yr-old son at the time (26 yeas ago), she wanted out after a year. I filed for divorce. She remarried quickly and hasn't asked for a sealing cancellation ever since. I met second wife, got sealing clearance, married and had two daughters, after 22 years she wanted out (and yes, I was devastated). She filed for divorce and remarried six months ago and hasn't asked for a sealing cancellation.

I met my Fiancee who is a Temple Worker just like I had been before moving to Dallas, TX nine months ago. Turns out my Fiancee and I are the exact kind of spouses that we needed and always wanted. We're thankful for the tough experiences that have prepared us for each other and know that the Atonement worked for each of us independently before we met. My Bishop has received responses from both of my Exes that are favorable. Joint request is being submitted to First Presidency. I am fearful that there will be a waiting time response based on what I've been hearing. A marriage is needed soon because Fiancee has been blessed with a job transfer to Dallas, TX and we need to be a family for her daughter to relocate with us for high school. I'm struggling to make a decision about preparing for a civil marriage instead of a sealing believing that a civil marriage will cause a postponement for a sealing for a year. Any insights or suggestions from those who've experienced somewhat similar circumstances is appreciated. Seeking a sense of a possible time line and peace about what to prepare for.

MarkHedgepeth wrote:Seeking a sense of a possible time line and peace about what to prepare for.

Have you talked with your bishop and stake president? They are the most appropriate people to answer this question.

I was divorced several years ago. Last year I received a letter from the First Presidency out of the blue stating that my sealing had been cancelled. In the letter it said that the First Presidency had reviewed all documentation from all involved parties. Guess what? I am definitely an involved party. However, I was not notified, nor was my Bishop, nor was my Stake President. I wrote a letter to Salt Lake City asking why their letter said I was contacted when in fact I wasn’t. I never got a response. But SLC did call my Bishop & confirmed that they had received my letter. My Stake President then explained that a woman can request a cancellation of sealing at anytime and that the man does not have to be notified.

So fast forward to now. I want to get resealed. My letter said I must get a sealing clearance even though my first sealing was canceled. So I started the process with my Bishop. All was going well until my Bishop said he had get a letter from my ex with her opinion on the matter. She canceled the original sealing. There is no connection regarding the Temple with her. Why would the church not require a man to be notified when a woman requests a cancellation, but then turn around and request the woman write a letter? This is very NOT equitable. To date my Bishop has not been able to produce the actual policy stating this must be done.

georgen wrote:My letter said I must get a sealing clearance even though my first sealing was canceled.

This is correct, per Handbook 1: 3.7.1.2.

georgen wrote:All was going well until my Bishop said he had get a letter from my ex with her opinion on the matter.

This likely correct, but I can't verify it as it's part of the instructions for the application which I don't have access to.

georgen wrote:To date my Bishop has not been able to produce the actual policy stating this must be done.

While I cannot answer your question concerning equity, nor know why you were not contacted for a letter earlier, I do know that the requirement for a letter from the spouse is in the instructions for the Application to the First Presidency, which is why your bishop is seeking a letter from your former spouse.

My father and my mother were divorced in 1999 and my parents did not cancel their Temple sealing before my father died in 2008. I am very, very surprised because my mother informed me that she has received approval to have her Temple sealing cancelled to be sealed to a man she's dating. The reason I am surprised is because I was under the impression that a Temple sealing could not be cancelled if one spouse was dead. I am now worried that this could happen to me, or to my children in the future. Can anyone confirm if this is a new practice?

apchacon wrote:The reason I am surprised is because I was under the impression that a Temple sealing could not be cancelled if one spouse was dead.

I don't know what the policy used to be, but currently, a living woman can only be sealed to one man. She can remarry "for time" without canceling the sealing, but to get sealed to the new husband, she must cancel the prior one. (Handbook 1: 3.7.1.3)

As for the children, I'd refer to What happens when a couple gets a temple divorce? What happens to the children in the next life? (Also, Handbook 1: 3.7, second paragraph).

While you don't have access to Handbook 1, your bishop does. It's also there for others who do have access to follow along and see what I'm basing my statements on.

My wife and I are in a troublesome situation.

[Moderator edit: What follows is a long, detailed explanation that is probably not best posted publicly. The question at hand: Can someone cancel the sealing of a deceased faithful parent to their cheating, inactive, (and apparently still alive) spouse?]

Now, I am doing my best to be faithful to my Covenants. And I pray that I may already know the answer.

cougar123 wrote:My wife and I are in a troublesome situation.

[Moderator edit: What follows is a long, detailed explanation that is probably not best posted publicly. The question at hand: Can someone cancel the sealing of a deceased faithful parent to their cheating, inactive, (and apparently still alive) spouse?]

Now, I am doing my best to be faithful to my Covenants. And I pray that I may already know the answer.

Just a reminder to everyone, this is a public forum, visible to the entire world.

I think you'll find an answer from the church's General Handbook section 38.4 - Sealing Policies:

Members who have concerns about the eternal nature of the sealing ordinance and their associated family and spousal relationships can find peace in the knowledge that Heavenly Father is loving and just. ...

Members who are divorced but still sealed to the former spouse are often troubled by the thought of that sealing. The sealing will not be compulsory in the postmortal life for either a man or a woman. If temple covenants are broken and no repentance is made, the sealing between the husband and wife is revoked. However, those who keep their covenants will retain the individual blessings provided by the sealing. This is the case even if the spouse has broken the covenants or withdrawn from the marriage.

Once a cancellation of sealing has been approved by the First Presidency, individual blessings pertaining to that sealing are no longer in force.

Nothing will happen to the deceased parent that the parent doesn't want. If the sealing were to be canceled, so would some of the blessing that has been earned.

has this changed? My bishop said I needed to get it started online, but he had never done it before so looking to see where I go to start the process.

cashcraft38 wrote: Sun Oct 31, 2021 6:16 pm has this changed? My bishop said I needed to get it started online, but he had never done it before so looking to see where I go to start the process.

Your bishop needs to start the process in the leadership portion of LCR which is only accessible to him in the ward. If he needs help or guidance he should check with the stake president.

Can I as a woman with no intentions on re marrying get a temple sealing cancelation. My ex was abusive, I don’t want to be tied to him in the afterlife. I have been divorced for 5 years, and have no desire to re marry.

Cullumcita wrote: Sun Feb 27, 2022 11:25 pm Can I as a woman with no intentions on re marrying get a temple sealing cancelation. My ex was abusive, I don’t want to be tied to him in the afterlife. I have been divorced for 5 years, and have no desire to re marry.

Yes, it's possible, but it also cancels blessings that you've been promised that are not dependent on your husband's worthiness. Please keep in mind that sealing is a saving ordinance, required for salvation.

As for the issue to whom you are sealed to, please read the Handbook quote a few posts above.

If you still want to go though with this, the starting point is to talk to your bishop.

I am in the process of a sealing cancellation. My current worthy husband in the middle of the process has changed his mind about when and if we get sealed to each other. Where does this leave me?

judiholt wrote: Thu Jul 28, 2022 11:52 am I am in the process of a sealing cancellation. My current worthy husband in the middle of the process has changed his mind about when and if we get sealed to each other. Where does this leave me?

I think this question in your specific situation is best answered by your bishop or stake president. They have the keys to receive inspirational guidance to assist you and will do so with love and kindness.

Something similar my husband ex wife were sealed she requested the cancelation over 5 yrs ago it was approved I still have that confirmation of the cancelation letter, my husband and I are trying to get sealed but they are still needing a clearance letter. Which is frustrating but why the Ex is now sealed to her new husband. Any ideas or tips?

I know it isn't very comforting, but you need to meet with with your bishop or stake president. No one on this user-to-user mutual tech help forum has the keys for your specific situation.

KarenSSanderson wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 3:15 pm my husband and I are trying to get sealed but they are still needing a clearance letter. Which is frustrating but why the Ex is now sealed to her new husband. Any ideas or tips?

I'd talk with the bishop to make sure everything has been submitted and there's no holdup at the ward or stake level.

You didn't say how long you'd been waiting. It may take time before it finally gets it'd due at the top-level meetings.

Something similar my husband ex wife were sealed she requested the cancelation over 5 yrs ago it was approved I still have that confirmation of the cancelation letter, my husband and I are trying to get sealed but they are still needing a clearance letter. Which is frustrating but why the Ex is now sealed to her new husband. Any ideas or tips?

As mentioned previously, GHB 38.4 describes many details about temple sealings, cancellations, and clearances. Many members do not understand that even after a temple sealing is cancelled, a male is still required to get a clearance to be sealed again, while a female does not require that step. The clearance for male members is required regardless of whether the previous spouse remains unmarried, or has been sealed again in the temple.

As suggested, speaking directly with your Bishop is the approved way to get answers about your specific circumstance; each situation is so personalized and unique, that it is impossible for a single rule to adequately address the complexities surrounding each individual case. GHB 38.4 states the Bishop can then ask the Stake President for clarification, who is then authorized as needed to contact either the Temple Presidency, Area Presidency, or Office of the First Presidency.

KarenSSanderson wrote: Wed Jun 07, 2023 3:15 pm Something similar my husband ex wife were sealed she requested the cancelation over 5 yrs ago it was approved I still have that confirmation of the cancelation letter, my husband and I are trying to get sealed but they are still needing a clearance letter. Which is frustrating but why the Ex is now sealed to her new husband. Any ideas or tips?

The Clearance letter for sealing after one has been sealed in the past is an IMPORTANT process that was not part of the process years ago. One really difficult issue was men who were behind if child support were getting sealed again. Men and Women who were still involved with ugly custody situation, very unChrist-like behavior were able to get through the process. The clearance allows the church to ensure that the EX's of both parties (if there are any) aren't in any way harmed by moving forward with the new sealing.

Please don't hate the clearance process, like I said, it has protections built in so the church doesn't do harm like it has in the past, unknowingly, but this was the corrective action to some of these harmful issues.

What is the policy for women and sealing cancellations without the prospect of a pending sealing?

Sealing policies can be found in the General Handbook 38.4

Some highlights:

Church members make sacred covenants with God as they receive temple ordinances.
...
Those who keep their covenants will retain the individual blessings provided by the sealing. This is true even if the person’s spouse has broken the covenants or withdrawn from the marriage.
...
Members who have concerns about the eternal nature of the sealing ordinance and their associated family and spousal relationships are encouraged to trust in the Lord and seek His comfort.
...
Members of either gender may seek a sealing cancellation even if they are not preparing to be sealed to another spouse.

Note that canceling the sealing also cancels the individual blessings, which is why it's generally discouraged. Particularly since it's a saving ordnance.

The bar is set really really low now that women empowerment has flooded the policies of the church. Women can request it and it’s done.

The bar is set really really low now that...

While most Forum members have strong personal opinions on a variety of subjects, we are encouraged to promote a welcoming environment that remains focused on the purpose of the Forum, and is always a friendly and helpful place for all who use it. The Code of Conduct outlines these policies, and helps us all feel connected and welcome as we discuss both simple and complicated matters.

You need approval from the first president of the church to cancel your sealing

Hello! Question for anyone that might know. I filled out my portion for a sealing cancelation, and I believe I am waiting for there to be a response from my ex husband. Does anyone know what happens with this process if I move to another ward and stake before the cancellation is complete? TIA!

SharlaJean wrote: Thu Apr 18, 2024 10:05 am Does anyone know what happens with this process if I move to another ward and stake before the cancellation is complete?

Your stake president will be able to help you with the answer to this question. It partly depends on whether or not the application has been completed and submitted to the First Presidency before you move. Either your current stake president or your new stake president will need to see the application through the process.

Seeking a sense of a possible time line and peace about what to prepare for.

Just a follow up note:We're having our 5th anniversary tomorrow. I have a testimony about second chances and remaining faithful to covenants. Ours is a story of fulfillment of promises within the covenants. We are happier together than we've ever been before and long every hour to be together. Our children have slowly turned from sorrows to renewed hope in eternal families. We've done our very best to give them consistent, happy, positive experiences encircled in safe emotional support and acting within the power of Jesus Christ's Atonement. None of the parenting efforts we made through the years, that seemed devalued or negated by former spouses, are lost to them. We're hoping for the best and do the work without delay. Life is as beautiful as we decide to make it!

I had divorced and canceled the sealing from my former wife who had relationships with another man who by the way was married. I remarried and was sealed to my next wife who after 12 years of marriage decided she wanted to be free and go her own way. I had no intentions due to my age to remarry but I decided to get a ceiling cancellation anyway. I was reminded that it's not necessary for a man to cancel the sealing because a man can be married to more than one person in the Celestial Kingdom. I did not believe that I would have to be sealed to her on the other side but I did not want to in danger my personal sealing. All of this will be straightened out on the other side.

I divorced my ex-wife due to infidelity on her part, I got remarried a few years after the divorce. My new wife and I would like to get sealed, I told her that since my ex did not keep her covenants that essentially voided that our sealing, and I'm sure Heavenly Father would not keep people together that didn't want to be with each other. My new wife won't be sealed to me unless I get my prior sealing canceled, which I am prepared to ask for, I'm just not sure if it's necessary. Please let me know your thoughts on this, thanks!

donaldstaley wrote: Fri Sep 13, 2024 9:29 am Please let me know your thoughts on this, thanks!

The Church policies for sealing of a husband and wife in your situation are covered in General Handbook, 38.4.1.1 and 38.4.1.5. Any further questions you may have should be addressed by your bishop in accordance with General Handbook, 0.4.

donaldstaley: I am currently in a similar situation, but it is my new husband that will not seek a sealing cancellation from his ex-wife. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to go through getting sealed to him because of this issue. I know it will all be worked out on the other side, but it still makes me feel like the second choice here. It's a hard topic that is easier to understand from a theoretical and spiritual perspective than an emotional one. My husband did not do this, but it would have helped me a lot for us to pray about and come to a decision on this together. At first he said he would get a sealing cancellation and then on his own he prayed about it and then informed me he felt like he shouldn't. This has been a very difficult thing for me to navigate emotionally.

Good luck to you and your wife! I wish you all the blessings!

So, I've tried to navigate through this web site. My bishop has asked me to fill out the application for a sealing cancelation. Can anyone tell me where to find
this application. I need to download and fill out. Thank you

soundsrusty wrote: Sun Oct 20, 2024 9:06 am Can anyone tell me where to find this application. I need to download and fill out.

It should all be online. Your bishop should be able to help you access it.

People are making it more complicated than it really is. I personally met with a member of the 1st Quorum of the Seventy who was on a committee that handled these sealing cancellations issues. He told me it is no longer gender specific and either person can request a cancellation at any time.

They are also human and sometimes drop the ball, so just be persistent and it will eventually get done. Simple as that!