Talks in Church

Have been a member 9 1/2 years and have never been asked to talk in church or give a prayer. I converted at age 38. Many others get picked every 3 to 6 months and their talks.... well... Is there something wrong or a rule keeping me from being asked? My wife gave a talk every 6 months or so but since we married 5 1/2 years ago she has never been asked again. Strange. She was born into a sealed LDS family.

I'm a bit hesitant to reply, lest the topic end up in a discussion of doctrine. However, here goes an attempt to try to answer the questions without going too far in the doctrinal direction. Speaking simply for myself and my personal opinions:

First, congratulations on your conversion nearly a decade ago. I'm married to a convert, and her perspective enlightens me frequently.

I seldom have any idea why some people are called to speak and pray more often than others--other than a few people (myself perhaps) have personalities that are unique enough that bishoprics hesitate to ask them to speak or pray. If you really want to know why you have not been asked, go ahead and ask your bishop, your branch president, or one of his counselors. My guess is you'll likely be asked to speak or pray within a month or two of asking the question.

None of this is doctrine or even recommended practice, it's just the the realities of how leaders tend to think:

Some people have callings that tend to get "called on" more often. Bishopric, Ward Mission Leader, or others that tend to fit a theme that's the focus of the meeting. (Mission, member missionary, youth, primary, temple, YSA, etc.) Likewise, they're more likely to call on someone if they know that member has had a positive experience that fits the theme. In short, the closer you are to being an exploratory example, the more likely you'll be called upon to speak.

On the other end of the scale,

rmrichesjr wrote:a few people (myself perhaps) have personalities that are unique enough that bishoprics hesitate to ask them to speak or pray.

"Unique", yeah, we'll go with that.

Somewhere in the middle is the "unknown". The bishopric doesn't know anything bad, but then they don't know anything good either. But if they have a full slate of good speakers, they may never get around to asking. I've seen some people who never were asked to speak until the leadership found out they were about to leave.

It's also a function of how organized the leadership is. Some actually use spreadsheets to track who spoke last. Those are more likely to have a uniform rotation of assignments. Others go by inspiration, which leans toward "going with what they know".

I think most members would like to take lessons on how to be invisible.

I have been ward clerk on several occasions - totaling "many years" (we'll just leave that right there - I love it). All the bishoprics I have served with want to give everyone the opportunity to speak. But then, again, they are human and subject to the frailties of human memory with all the other things on their plate.

I believe it's almost certainly an oversight on their part. You could be blunt and just ask one of the counselors if there is some reason you are not given the opportunity to speak. As suggested above, I'm pretty sure they will rectify it quickly once they realize the oversight.

In our ward, the current bishopric is much more concerned with rotation of youth speakers than adult speakers, if that's any consolation. That is the group they track. They rely purely on memory for the adult speakers.

I have been a member of the Church for over 20 years and have only given maybe 5 talks during that time. My sister, who's significantly more outgoing than myself, has given far more talks than my meager 5. I don't know your bishopric, but I can say with 100% confidence that they love you and would not want you feeling that way. Along with that, they are fallible human beings and likely simply haven't realized that they have done anything that has made you feel left out. Their focus is the youth, and the Elders Quorum and Relief Society Presidencies focus on the adult members. If you feel concerned or disheartened by anything, you can absolutely talk to your leaders about it (EQ/RS or Bishopric)! Their #1 concern is that you are progressing toward the Savior. On the other hand, if you don't feel comfortable bringing it to their attention, you could also show them that you're someone who bears powerful testimony and would be a great speaker by sharing your thoughts in Sunday School and Elders Quorum, bear testimony on Fast and Testimony Sunday. All of which would make you stronger as a disciple of Christ and would benefit your fellow ward members. Good luck!!!